Lately I’ve been aimlessly wandering around the world of the third trimester, trying to navigate where I’m headed and determine what self-imposed expectations are going to be met within these next few precious weeks. Looking forward, reaching toward the everstretching finish line, trying to run when it’s getting tough to even walk these days.
Time to slooooooowww it down.
And there’s no greater exercise in stillness than making bread by hand. No relying on the Kitchen Aid, no rapid rise yeast, just a counter full of ingredients and these two hands.
You just can’t rush the process. It’s an all day event, just right for a blooming belly that is quickly forcing more and more limitations. A blissful baby that is announcing her place in this tribe. A bummed out mama who feels like a wild horse who’s finally been broken.
Hands plunging into a medley of stickiness, stopping to wait while tired eyes decipher new directions. Again. And again. Distracted by the keen interest displayed by a tiny boy sitting nearby on his sturdy wooden throne.
Fretting about how this mass of flour and water will come together: Will it turn out ok? What if this recipe is horrible? Will my oven catch on fire when I spray water inside to steam the dough? Will the heat recover quickly enough? Will it rise? Will it rise enough? Will the seeds burn?
Stop. Knead. Listen.
Listen as the dough performs its magic, its ancient secret of binding the single parts into the sum of the whole. Listen as it suddenly grooves into its new form, effortlessly, immediately. All by the work of these two hands. Slowly. No rush. Right here, right now.
Everything is going to be just fine.
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To the casual observer, I'm a web based writer who will remind you of who you really are.
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I like to watch things change.
Yes, making bread….I used to do it all the time in Colorado. Now what was that recipe???? I think that I threw everything in…honey, molasses (just a swig full), wheat germ, half white-half whole wheat flour, …..I am going to have to try and make it to see if it comes back to me….maybe a half cup of sesame seeds ….pwdr milk & water….. Your bread looks so YUMMY!!! Beautiful!
Love to read about your process of slowing down. Your words are really beautiful. It makes me want to hurry up and get to my projects before I begin the slowing process. Ah, I may have not gotten your point, let me go back and re-read. LOL
B
mmmmm, send me over one of those delish looking loaves, warm out of the oven, with a little butter….. mmmmmmm….. we love making bread too (or actually pat is the breadman of the relationship, i just reap the rewards). I wish you were local to me, I’m doing the “amish friendship bread” right now, my MIL passed it on to us- super easy but talk about slowing down, it takes 10 days to ferment and rise before you can bake!
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